Life is so bizarre...

I haven't felt so lonely in all my life. Sure, I have two roomates right now and I hang out with the other co-ops from AMD, but I still fee like I am completely alone and akward. Its so confusing and discouraging, I don't know what to make of all of it. It's most likely due to homesickness. I haven't been able to have discussions with anybody here and be truely open about it. It's like nobody cares...they may seem like they care, but they aren't truely listening.

I keep wondering what it will be like when I finally get out of school and I am completely on my own. Whenever all my college/high school buddies finally part and go their own ways and they all start getting married. I still know that my situation right now is temporary and its comforting to know that I will be back soon...but is it foreshadowing a not-to-be desired future? I fear that my non-outgoing nature is going to make things even harder down the road. I hate to "mingle" in large groups, I am extremely timid around girls, and I am horrible at starting/keeping converstations going.

Time has been flying around here, everything is a blur anymore--which just adds to the confusion. I guess thats a good thing, means I will get to come home soon. I'm not all depressed or anything, I just needed to get all of this off of my chest. I should go to a park, pet a kitten, or watch a slap-stick comedy--something.

I went to San Antonio on Monday with my roomate and cubemate from work. Its a neat place. The Alamo is tiny and its really funny how everything is built around and surrounding it. The main part of city is a whole lot smaller than I thought it would be. We checked out the riverwalk and of course the Alamo, ate at a hole-in-the-wall burger joint, and played in the fountains (well I did). It was like 100+ degrees out with high humidity so we didn't stay too incredibly long. We came back and watched the Austin fireworks show from Barton Creek Square Mall's parking lot. Watching fireworks from a distance sucks...I need to be right up next to them so I can hear the boom. Last summer in Muncie, IN Jason, Scott, and I watched their fireworks show and we were only like a football field away from where they were being set off...a great feeling :).

Work has been somewhat crazy. We are working with a brand new revision of silicon on a completely new tester that is still in development. My fellow techies, this is a true test of someones' patience. I have gotten to do a little bit of coding in Java, which has been fun. I actually made a GUI (graphical user interface) window!

Well, its getting late...maybe a good nights rest will make me feel better. Take care y'all...

-Josh